Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The Gym.

Poor blog, I have abandoned you for quite a while.  It's not that my life is boring and I have nothing to blog about (duh) but that it's too exciting and I don't have time! ;) haha just kidding, I'm just not completely in the habit of posting.  But I will be one day, mark my words!

My mom gave me the idea to write this post about going to the gym- I know, sounds SUPER exciting... but I'm sure for you gym goers out there, you will be able to relate with me. I feel like there's a lot of different people that go to the gym- they all have their own little labels.  I'm sorry if anybody feels discriminated upon, offended, or stereotyped, but I've always thought I've had pretty good judge of character soooo... I'm right, you're wrong. KIDDING!  This is just my outlook on the type of people that go to the gym (:

One day I hope to replace these pictures with the real deal.  But I don't have one of those fancy I-phones to take a picture with, nor have I mastered the "pretend to text while taking a picture" stance.

I don't even know which label to start with.  How about the guy who PRETENDS like he's doing something.  I was going to combine the words "fake" and "jock" but the combinations are 'fack' and 'joke'... any suggestions?  I feel like one of those can be misinterpreted as a bad word. Bummer.  Anyways, when I talk about this stereotype, I think of one person who shall not be named- because that's mean! Basically, I ALWAYS see him at the gym.  Good for him, right?  Anyone who's at the gym gets an 'A' in my book.  But seriously, I see him briskly walking around the gym as if he's on a mission to get to the next machine/work out.  The thing is, I NEVER see him working out!!! Haha it's hilarious, really.  I see him everyday, yet, he's always walking around the gym acting like he's getting work done.  Other than walking, I see him talking or spotting someone- other than that, NO workout.  What a funny kid.  Thank you for your entertainment at the gym.

We have the "know-it-alls".  The people who coach you through your workout.  It's nice that they want to help- but face it, you're just makin' people mad! haha

Can't forget the "starers".  That person that you occasionally glance over at and you can guarantee every time they're staring RIGHT back at you.  I must admit, it's easy to peer over at people, checking out what weirdo workout they're doing.  But really, you gotta check yourself before you reck yourself.  

Another type of person you see at the gym is the "face maker".  That guy or girl that is either 1. lifting too much or 2.  needs to go to the bathroom.  The result?  Faces that you should only make in the private.  But hey, whatever works for you, right? I'm not judging.   ....or am I?!

They make faces like this baby:

Probably the most annoying type at the gym is the girls that workout with one of the following: their hair down, obnoxiously obvious PINK pants that are MUCH too tight, a neon pink bow/hair accessory in their hair, excessive jewelery, or a butt-load of makeup.  I mean, I know your husband is "just" around the corner- but he's got to love you without those things!  So calm down, wear stuff at the gym that shows you're working out, not searching for your soul mate.

This is how ridiculous you look:

Next is "the photographers".  I can't tell you how many times I spot a person standing in front of the mirror, flexing their biceps, and taking a picture!  Naturally, I like to make people feel awkward so I take a front row for the photo shoot.

We can't forget the people who check themselves out in the mirror.  I can't imagine what they do at home if, at the gym, every 15 seconds they glance/stare in the mirror.  I mean honestly, I'm embarrassed enough to look in the mirror at the gym when I think my hair's messed up.

There is also the "herd".  A herd, as many of you know, refers to a social grouping of certain animals of the same species.  Do you know how obnoxious it is to try to get around a herd?!  I mean, how much working out is really taking place when you have your gal pal (but most often bro hos) with you.  Not much.  The worst part about herds is that they get caught up with talking while they're using a machine.  I kid you not I waited for a herd (stupid, I know) that was on a machine I needed and the girl did a rep, talked for 15 seconds, and repeat.

Another type of gym attendee is the meat head.  We all know you're on steroids.  Let's not pretend you got that way over night.  Alright?  But hey, I guess it's nice to have someone at the gym who's unusually large and makes you feel little.

Last but not least, you have "the clueless".  The poor soul that doesn't know how to do anything.  But those type don't bother me... it's actually kind of fun to watch.    

I hope this blog doesn't come off as me venting, just expressing my subtle observations I have noticed while attending the gym.  We are always so critical of others, I'm sure I have fallen in these categories from time to time (doubt it), so just remember: try not to be part of a herd, wear a bow that's larger than your face, or walk around the gym like you own the place.  If you stay away from doing these things- you'll be good to go!


  1. Just for you Lac I'm going to wear a HUGE bow with BRIGHT pink short shorts, walk around like I own the place, but of course be clueless about it AND be my own herd of 1 by talking/texting on my phone to all of my friends. haha Love you!

  2. HAHAHA! That was wayy too funny. Way to use those stereotypes, you hit it right on the head.